Empire Statistics
8,421,902,110
Total Population
142
Planets Annexed
104%
Global Happiness Index
β
Tea Consumed (L)
Imperial Services
π
Ministry of Truth
Updating history in real-time for your convenience.
Access Service β
π
Department of Space
Expanding borders into dimensions you didn't know existed.
Access Service β
π
Bureau of Happiness
Mandatory smiles required in all public sectors.
Access Service β
"Official Portrait Placeholder. Do not stare directly at the empty space."
From the Desk of the High Chancellor
Monthly State of the Empire Address
Citizens! The construction of the Subspace Dysons Sphere around the second sun has been delayed due to a shortage of contractors willing to work in absolute zero conditions. We remind you that volunteering is mandatory for all citizens with Type B+ blood this cycle.
In other news, gravity will be reduced by 15% next Tuesday to facilitate heavy lifting. Please tie down your pets.
β High Chancellor G. Vortex